When Women Are Erased From Public Life
“What is the nature of the Balm of Gilead for long endurance in these situations?”
-Anna Hampton
In the fall of 2024, we were walking in the street of Kabul, and I was fully veiled as the current law requires of women (only my eyes and hands showing), and we saw two heavily bearded and turbaned Taliban walking toward us. At the same time, the NGO truck of our friends came towards us, waving hello. Knowing that women by law are not permitted to speak publicly, Neal and I quickly grabbed each other's hands and intertwined our fingers, and I enthusiastically (somewhat more loudly than normal), greeted our friends in the truck driving by, making sure the Talibs heard me.
When women and girls are not allowed to go to school, not allowed to work, must veil all but the eyes, are not permitted by law to speak in public, in other words, serves only to cook, mother, and provide bed-warming service for her husband, she is not able to grow and develop as a person in her own right. In a society where a woman is not seen as a woman unless she is married (even an unmarried 60-year old woman would be called "daughter"), she is defined by her sexual status.
What member care (pastoral) answer is adequate to provide a "cup of cold water" and "the balm of Gilead" to Afghan and non-Afghan women in this situation? To tell a non-Afghan or Afghan living under such extreme application of Shariah Law to focus on her identity in Christ in a culture where she is erased from all public life is simply not adequate, even if truthful.
A Christ-follower already knows her identity in Christ, yet is suffering from depression. For those who don’t follow in the footsteps of Jesus, the value of one’s identity as a human seems quite small. Swimming in such gender-oppressive waters, it’s impossible to see any other realities. Many, many women and girls fight depression there, and there are high suicide rates.
A normal human response to dis-empowerment and oppression is depression and resignation. Yet when tempted to resignation, it must not be entertained, because it is not a hope-filled response.
Hope is a battle ground, not an ephemeral emotion.
We must never give up fighting in situations of such overwhelming oppression and denial of women's role in society. Jesus' Kingdom culture elevates the role of women, and he demonstrated respect of women contrary to the Jewish and Roman culture of his day. He did not give glib answers, although His non-suffering Church seems to.
So what does help long endurance?
There are three critical endurance strategies to employ (but not limited to just these): Framing/Perspective, Meaning, and Community.
Framing/Perspective - how the adversity and suffering is framed. By entering into the culture and obeying the laws, I was experiencing a taste of the same suffering as the women there, even if only for a short time.
Meaning - tying the meaning of the suffering to a transcendent narrative. This suffering is part of Christ’s suffering on His cross - he experienced all the pain of the evil inflicted in this world. He experienced as the God-man, the pain of the battle between men and women which goes back to Genesis 3.
Community - of friends who are supportive to her as a person and help her find her key contributions and worth, including and most importantly one's husband or if single, significant men in her life. My husband knows and sees who I am and my value, and he communicates it to me.
This trip was my first time to cover so fully. I immediately felt a rebellious and angry heart as I deplaned. “How could I possibly minister with a heart in this condition, I wondered?” While driving from Kabul airport to the guest house, I texted my girlfriend, Kate (1), who used to live here, too. Kate, like a sister to me, was able to give me perspective, meaning, and community via her compassionate response via Signal app.
She didn’t judge me when I shared my rebellious heart. She provided the support I needed to strengthen my soul and frame my struggle like I’ve described above. Because of her, I was able to set aside my struggles, not beat myself up (in a place which was already doing that), and focus on the task God had sent me there to do.
Thank you, Kate, for applying the Balm of Gilead in a Signal text.
But what about all those women there who don’t have such a supportive community, and don’t have a life outside of Afghanistan?
Pray for the Afghan and non-Afghan women and girls living day in and day out in this extreme Shariah law. Pray that the Good News of the hope we have in Jesus will continue to be heard in a dark place. Pray for the endurance of the foreign women serving there as they are paying a high price for Gospel advancement.
Words I wrote in 2009:
I'm often asked what I wear in Afghanistan and what it's like to wear a veil. It's freedom. Freedom to have a bad hair day, freedom to arrange my chadar to conceal the curve of my breasts and backside, freedom to not be an expatriate for a little while. It means freedom to hide even on the street from the Afghan men's eyes which seem to strip me naked.
When I relax my shoulders and walk less purposefully, less confidently, my eyes downcast and covered by sunglasses, I pass for an Afghan woman. I hear the men whisper in Dari, "Is she a foreigner or local woman?" I chuckle but am silent. On the street, I'm also a free target....freely exposed to groping, sexual innuendos whispered to me as a man bicycles by, free to have stones thrown at me, freely seen as no one's wife, daughter, sister, mother, friend, or boss. I step inside my gate, and remove my chapan and chadar. Now I'm someone's boss, motherhood returns to me as little steps run to greet me, and I receive a kiss from my adoring husband. Now I'm free to his loving and gentle eyes which know and enjoy my curves, free to once again be under the protective umbrella of being a wife, mother, friend, colleague, boss, niece, sister, daughter, woman.
(1) Kate Ward is the founding director of Gender and Religious Freedom (www.genderandreligious-freedom.org). She co-chairs the Gender and Religious Freedom Taskforce within the Religious Liberty Partnership and chairs the Gender and FoRB working group for the UK FoRB (freedom of religion and belief) Forum, where stakeholders and civil society groups hold the UK government accountable on FoRB issues
