Christianized Purdah
“For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
-The Apostle Paul
Galatians 5:27-28
I stood in the back of the church service. Several men who knew me walked by, never raising their eyes in greeting. The first Sunday it happened, I thought perhaps they didn't see me.
When consistently, Sunday after Sunday, they walked by and didn't greet me but greeted my husband standing next to me, how could I help but think anything other than that as an expatriate, married woman, Christian men thought they were keeping a "safe" distance by not acknowledging me.
I've heard plenty of single women mention similar experiences.
I missed my own brothers, and having my Christian brothers totally ignore me meant almost no brotherly kindness or appropriate brotherly affection in my life.
Then I learned that one major sending organization actually discourages ALL physical touch between men and women. How incredibly sad! I wonder if the Evangelical American church realizes the disservice they are doing, despite understandable attempts to help men and women maintain appropriate moral purity in an age of sexual and gender confusion and obscene access to pornography.
Another single female worker told us that if their team meeting goes late in the evening, the married men would never consider offering her a ride home, because the organizational policy states that married men cannot be alone with a single women. This includes being in a car. So she is left to take public transport late at night, with a strange man driving, putting her at much greater risk of rape and kidnapping.
THIS IS INSANITY.
It continues to objectify women and treat men and women as if they have no control over their sexuality (Islam and Purdah), even as it "attempts" to help men and women be above board in public.
There must be another way.
Men and women together are not demonstrating the new Family of God in Christ Jesus, because they are not taught nor allowed practical ways of demonstrating Christian friendship, unity of Spirit, and acceptance of the opposite gender.
Of course we want pure relationships between us, but I often wonder if it has all gone way too far off course. By encouraging such incredibly far boundaries between men and women on the field, we are no different than the Islamic culture we are living in, and therefore there is little marked difference in the Purdah of Muslim culture and the way Christians model male-female relationships.
The pendulum seems to be swinging wildly between men and women on a crazy cycle, between Christianized Purdah and insane sexual behavior.
No wonder Muslims can't see a difference in Christ's Body when it comes to the treatment of women.
A Few Thoughts:
The Islamic treatment of woman is abhorrent.
Purdah is not Biblical.
Sexual deviation and mistreatment of women and men is found everywhere except in Christ's Kingdom culture.
Only Christ changes the status of women in a respectful way that does not diminish nor emasculate men.
In Christ, men and women are co-heirs, co-regents, without gender-specific spiritual gifting.
The current state of affairs in the Western Church, especially the American Church, whether it's the lack of appropriate boundaries (former leader of Willow Creek Church), lack of women speaking up (out of fear of being labeled a feminist or "loose"), and the misunderstanding of Paul has resulted in major abuse of Christian women.
(I just had an American female church staff tell me she accepts the interpretation of Paul that states his admonition to women in one fellowship as prescriptive for all women in all fellowships to be silent in the church.)
The Egalitarian and Complimentarian debates are not increasing the conversation but are polarizing men and women...we are reflecting the national political polarization.
I don't have the answers, but I do know that what is presently happening in the organizational training and policies on "moral purity" for overseas workers is not working. Moral purity in a man or woman's inner life is a personal conviction and cultivated heart posture which no organizational policy or internet accountability software can totally cover.
One of the best and gentlest writings I've ever seen on this topic is found here: "Three Female Ghosts That Haunt the Church".
Lord, help Your Body around the world find wise ways to model a different way for men and women. Give expatriate communities living in Muslim cultures sensitivity and awareness for when they look too much like the Purdah of Islam. Help us in our generation to be stewards of the freedom we have in Christ Jesus to limit our own sexuality and choose purity which honors you in all of our relationships. Help us to truly become Christ's brothers and sisters so that through our relationships we will be able to offer a cup of cold water to a world hungry for appropriate intimacy and healing friendship.
Matthew 12:48-50 - "But he replied to the man who told him, 'Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?' And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, 'Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.'"
John 17:23 - "I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me."
Galatians 3:28 - "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
Ephesians 2:14 - "For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility..."
Ephesians 4:3 - "Eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."
Colossians 3:11 - "Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all and in all."
Books to Read:
Alan F. Johnson - How I Changed My Mind About Women in Leadership
Skip Moen - Guardian Angel
Kenneth Bailey - Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes
