Taliban Jokes
Tragic humor is a survival technique. It is a sign of resilience.
-Anna Hampton, Facing Fear, KL 5794
In November 2021, the Taliban issued a decree banning comedy shows and women’s appearances on TV shows altogether. When a culture cannot laugh at itself and spare no one from humorous satire, it is as doomed as the Taliban government.
Q: What's the Taliban's favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
So a New Yorker wishes to join the Taliban...
And they take him to their leader.
"Do you accept Allah as your God and Mohammad as your prophet?"
"Yes!"
"Will you jihad for the glory of God and his prophet?"
"Yes!"
"Do you believe that after you die, you will join your brethren in God's paradise where rivers of milk run under ever-lasting trees and women with large black eyes will be there for your pleasure?"
"Yes!"
"I'm still not convinced. Do you believe the Yankees will win the pennant this year?"
"Yes!"
"This man clearly has blind faith. Give him an AK and send him fighting!"
If you ever feel useless...
Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...
the Taliban
Taliban Airways
We make sure your flight is a blast.
How do the Taliban power their aircraft?
Wind Turbans
You know you're Taliban if...
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
You've often uttered the phrase, 'I love what you've done with your cave.'
You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
You bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.
69 years ago
69 years ago both India and Pakistan got independence on this day.Indians have become heads of Google, Microsoft, Pepsico, Jaguar, Land Rover and Pakistanis have become heads of Taliban, Al-Qaeda, Jammat U Dawa, Hijbul Mujahideen Also India entered Mars but Pakistan still trying to enter India.
The Taliban are banning opium and will be growing olives instead.
For the extra virgin.
What's the difference between the Taliban and Texas?
The Taliban requires women to wear masks
What did the young Taliban member say to the old Taliban member?
Ok Boomer...
Which laptops do Taliban use?
infiDELL
What's the national bird of Afghanistan?
"DUCK!!"*
In Afghanistan, everyone is terrified of spiders, but apparently..
In Iraq no phobia
Under the New Taliban Government:
"A new committee has been formed within the Ministry for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice to discuss the shape of cucumbers, eggplants and pumpkins" -- in case they resemble sexual organs. For the same reasons, "bakers now have two weeks to make bread that isn’t long or round.”
Read more at: https://www.deccanherald.com/world/online-afghan-humour-laughter-as-resistance-against-taliban-1048041.html
SOURCES:
www.upjoke.com
www.museumofjokes.com
