Jesus Was Not Acquainted With Grief
“Not grieving is all too often spiritualized. It’s as if those who don’t cry or take time to lament are better than Jesus.”
Anna Hampton
Jesus was not acquainted with grief. However, Isaiah 53:3 in the King James, ASV, AMP, AMPC, Darby, ESV, use “acquainted with grief.” Other translations use the phrase as he knew illness. There is debate whether the word for “grief” should be translated with sickness (infirmity) or illness.
Skip Moen writes,
“Has sorrow ever made you sick? Sometimes it doesn’t take a virus or toxic bacteria to make us ill. Sometimes all it takes is intense pain. Job had the right idea (Job 33:19). In this life, there is no avoiding pain. Did you notice that Isaiah says that the suffering servant is a man of pains (plural)? That’s what the word “sorrows” means. I often deserve my pain. It comes as a result of my sin. But Jesus was innocent. His pains were cast upon him because of our sins. Now Isaiah says that all of the pains that he bore for others “acquainted him with holiy“, the Hebrew word for sickness. Jesus knew what it was like to be sick from sin – my sin." Sin is more than physical ailment. Sin is moral sickness. And it is mental illness too. Sin is the ultimate form of mental breakdown. It distorts my reality so much that I think I can be my own god. Sin in the final insanity because it propels me to do the very things that drive me away from life. No wonder Paul cries out, “Who will deliver me from the body of this death?”
If we take this English translation at face value the way the majority of English translations translate it, no wonder Christians feel it is unspiritual to grieve. I have a friend who had 5 miscarriages, and when she finally recovered from the 5th and went to Church, the ladies told her to be joyful. She simply was not allowed to grief the death of 5 babies. I reject this Christianity. If that’s what being a Christian is, that’s pathologically immoral.
Let’s take a look at the Hebrew word translated as “acquainted.” It is the Hebrew yada, to know.
According to the Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, “Yada expresses a multitude of shades of knowledge gained by the senses. It is used of God’s knowledge of man and his ways. It is also used for man’s knowledge and one’s relationship to the divine. It occurs in phrases describing skill in hunting, learning, lamentation, sailing the sea, and playing an instrument. It means to distinguish. To know good and evil. While ordinarily gained by experience, it is also the contemplative perception possessed by the wise man. While it is used for acquaintance of people, it is used for the most intimate acquaintance. It is also the word for sexual intercourse.”
In the context of Isaiah 53, this means much much more than being acquainted with something. When the English text says that Jesus was “acquainted with grief,” it does violence to the reality of what Scripture is trying to communicate. In English, the word acquaintance according to the Cambridge Dictionary is “A person that you have met but do not know well.”
It implies that Jesus didn’t know grief or the sickness of suffering and lament very well at all. It was as if a stranger came knocking. But that’s not the Jesus we see in the New Testament.
The Jesus that is described in Isaiah 53 and seen in the New Testament is a Jesus who was intimately and painfully aware of grief, and he understands the grief we walk through. When we grieve, we are entering his heart. We are developing a heart like His. When we develop a heart like His, we become like Him. This glorifies Him.
By not grieving, we are refusing to enter His heart, and unprocessed grief will stunt our emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth. I’m angry because I’ve sat with SO MANY missionaries who wonder why they are so weak, why they have so much grief, and why they can’t get passed it. They feel shame because of their grief.
It’s because they haven’t grieved.
It’s because the Church doesn’t let them grieve.
It’s because Christianity - whether taught overtly or in cultural Christianity, grieving is considered unspiritual.
I submit this is abusive teaching from the church. It depicts a God who doesn’t care about the human condition. I’m constantly correcting the word “acquainted” as an English word that is an incorrect translation in the context of the most intimate, deep knowing that our God has of our grief.
In Isaiah 53:3, “Yada” is a word to embrace. “Acquaintance” is a word to reject.
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