Cultivating Ritualized Habits of Calm Endurance
The capacity to stand in the tragic gap requires the ability to stand in the tension between corrosive cynicism and irrelevant idealism between what is and could be.
-Parker Palmer
What does it take to develop tranquil resolve and cultivate habits of endurance which lead to resiliency? What does endurance in risk look like? “Firmness of spirit does not “just happen,” and evil doesn’t wait for us to be ready. Taking time to disciple a Christ-follower in [habits] of endurance and resilience for persecution and martyrdom is a good return on investment (ROI).” (Facing Fear 2023).
In Facing Fear, I defined endurance as being able to live and work long-term in risk and uncertainty with physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, ministry perseverance. Persevering in a difficult situation without quitting takes resolve.
Synonyms to endurance include: toleration, bearing, sufferance, fortitude, forbearance, patience, and resignation.
“Ritualized habits” is doing an endurance strategy in the same way every time, which leads to resiliency. These habits may be/can be extraordinary habits, that is, outside of your normal routine, but sometimes it’s the same old habits. It’s both/and. Doing an endurance strategy (habit) in the same way when the situation is chaotic creates routine, which is part of self calmingc. There are 5 key areas to develop endurance in, and six key areas of resiliency.
The 6 key areas of resiliency are:
Self-awareness - what resources are available to you to help you increase your self-awareness?
Self-regulation - healthy people are able to self-regulate their emotions. They do this be recognizing their emotions (self-awareness), naming them, and then processing them. They are able to admit what they are feeling.
Optimism - They maintain hopefulness, not naivety, but see potential positive outcomes in the future and not despair.
Mental agility
Strength of character
Relational connection to others.
Each of these areas are aspects we can develop. (Army, Advanced Situational Awareness). We want to cultivate the habits of endurance and the habits of resiliency at the same time.
First, it helps to know the reality of what we are facing and are being invited to endure through. It takes inner strength to hold on to hope while facing reality at the same time. (Facing Fear, 2023). This logically implies cultivating both inner and outer endurance. This is not some pollyanna “throw an encouraging verse” at someone and they will endure.
No, endurance is a battle. Endurance requires grit and steely determination to put one foot in front of the other, manage one’s fears, ignore the rumors and threats (do assessment, but usually move forward despite threats), and keep moving, keep obeying the Spirit, keep loving people.
Secondly, endurance requires both discipleship and practiced skill. It requires mentorship to learn how to do this and what it looks like. People don’t usually think about endurance, so it takes time and then practice to learn what works for oneself in the specific risk situation.
I recall the example of one global worker I met with, and after talking through what felt life-giving to her, I encouraged her to take 1 hour a week and spend time doing Brazilian dancing the way her culture celebrates, but of course with the curtains closed and doors locked so the local Muslim helpers didn’t come in.
Thirdly, endurance is holistic. An Endurance Plan requires 1) cultivating ritualized habits of self-care in 5 categories; 2) Endurance and Crisis practical resource preparation; 3) setting evacuation criteria; 4) writing one’s evacuation plan; 5) putting in place a crisis response plan.
Habits of Self-Care
We develop endurance by cultivating self-care habits in the areas of physical care, mental care, emotional care, spiritual care, relational care. Habits in these areas form our endurance plan.
Physical Care - Water, food, and sleep, exercise. Each of these we do as an act of worship and stewardship of our bodies when he has called us to endure through risk. Pacing of work and risk management;
Mental - Tragic humor goes a long way; complaining to the Lord, using creativity to create fun and beauty, developing shrewdness;
Emotional - cultivate awareness of and name your emotions; feel them and take them to the Lord and ask for help; cry or lament, instead of stuffing/ignoring grief; channel your anger in righteous ways
Spiritual - bringing one’s sacred questions to the Lord; finding meaning in the situation; speaking to one’s soul like David did;
Relational - develop empathy with God’s heart; give grace to yourself; seek ways to love others well in the situation;
Endurance and Crisis Practical Resource Preparation
We have to prepare to endure in several practical ways. The following are the primary categories, but will address two of them in greater detail below. Practical Resources: Stay organized, live simply, keep food reserves on hand, keep electronics charged up; have an extra phone charger in your “go” kit, have back up communication; keep extra cash on hand but don’t hide it where locals hide it, have a medivac plan, have a kidnap crisis plan, have an untimely death response plan, have written expectations of your family back home.
Evacuation Criteria
Part of endurance is developing an endurance plan based on well-developed evacuation criteria. This is an endurance strategy which identifies a fixed point when we know we will reevaluate our stay-go decision. “It gives a guide to know when to pull out the whole family or team. In other words, we need to ask, “When is the community no longer sustainable if certain entities pull out?” (Facing Danger, 2024).
I don’t use the phrase “trigger point,” and prefer “Threshold” or “Benchmark.” The phrase threshold of max risk tolerance allows for the possibility of a different decision. In other words, my husband and I set a threshold of what would have to happen for us to consider leaving the risk situation we were in Afghanistan (we had determined in 2002 that our threshold was if the Taliban started shooting civilians, we’d leave.) Once that threshold was reached, we met to prayerfully discuss whether we felt we were being led to stay or go. We felt led to stay.
Writing Evacuation Plan
Also includes evacuation lists, to do lists, and evacuation criteria. These are not plans if they are not written out. Let me say that again. These are not plans if they are not written out. When crisis happens, we are often in shock and we need to follow our plan that we have written, because our brains struggle to handle the impact of what’s happening.
“The evacuation list is organized by time: What would you take if there were only five minutes to gather the items? What if there are thirty minutes to prepare? Is there time to take or shred specific papers? What if you have twenty-four to thirty-six hours to leave the country and can take a suitcase?” (Facing Danger, 2024). Make sure you include your child’s favorite toy in the weight limit, if at all possible.
Crisis Response Plan
Kidnapping response plan, untimely death and funeral plans, organizational policies, member care, etc. These need to be in place before the crisis happens, and knowing these are in place leads to better endurance.
Endurance Is Not All Up To Me
But endurance is not all up to me. We need God’s help. In Proverbs 18:13, the meaning of endure is “contain”, “sustain,” but it is also used in the context where humankind cannot endure, or contain what we are dealing with, and the Lord will help us. In Psalms 145:14, the Psalmist writes, “The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down.”
Here the word sustain means the Lord does it, especially when we feel like we are unable to endure. We work at endurance and he helps us endure. Both-and, it’s not just up to me, and it’s not the correct cognitive application of a Bible verse.
Be cautious if someone gives you a verse or a prayer as your way of enduring, and does ask any other questions or empathetically enter into what will help you endure. Be creative - if you are from Brazil, you may need to have a Brazilian dance party. If you are from Scotland, then it’s a Scottish Kaley (Ceilidh).
Standing in the tragic gap well requires strategy, work, and tragic humor, along with appropriate, timely, spiritual encouragement.
